Posts Tagged ‘QOTD’

So I was having a conversation with my best friend from Chicago about the subject of sex. We were talking about who was the worst person she ever had sex with.

She answered very quickly, “Without a doubt it was _____!”

I was stunned by her ability to recall “the worst” so quickly, but I’m sure that many of my readers would be able to recall their bad sexual encounters just as quickly. However when I hear such stories I always wonder the same thing. “Did you tell him/her they were bad?”

My friend answered that question (as did many of my other friends) the same way: “I don’t have the patience to teach no man/woman.”

I’m not pointing a finger at one gender or another because we all have been in this position one way or another. However my problem is that no one takes the time to tell a sexual partner when they aren’t bringing it in the bed room. I’m talking about constructive criticism used to improve one’s performance.

I remember getting told about how I performed from two women in my past. Tell me which one was better for my sexual development:

Critique #1: “You’re not eating pussy right. Here let me show you how to really please a woman.”

Critique #2: “When I fuck you I don’t feel fucked!”

You don’t have to be a rock scientist to figure that one out.

The woman from the first Critique was patient, informative and guided me to being the cunnilingus monster I am today. As for the second critique … it had me question my whole reason for having sex in the first place.

Look folk, you need to be open and honest in your sexual relationships because its not about just getting the nut when you talk about getting sex. Its about getting the pleasure that both of you can bring to each other.

I know that many of us have tried to get better. For guys we get our Sex Ed from other dudes and by watching Porn. For the ladies they get their information from magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Talk Shows from Oprah and Tyra.

You think the information you get from these sources is going to help your relationship out. I know I might be in the minority but I really don’t think so. A lot of these Sex Help/Relationship Books/Articles believe that there is a one size fits all solution to the problem. Sadly, many problems are more complex than that.

For my Male Readers out there can I share something with you. Watching Porn videos will not give you proper instruction on how to please your lady. I mentioned this in a previous post but I’m saying it again here: the positions in porn are just used to to maximize the visual for the views not for the actors in the scene.

As this excerpt from an article online:

Porn films are to sex education what Hollywood films are to ethics or morality tales. Porn is fake. It may be very sexy fake, but it’s fake nonetheless. The sexual positions used in porn films are chosen not for their likelihood to turn on the actors, or even for the ways that the positions might allow for hot creative sex.

Sex positions in porn are chosen for the way they allow the camera to get wide open access to the genitals (which are still considered the main draw in porn).

I mean really would you think that doing this move would turn your girl out. Seriously, I would break a hip if I tried that.

The best way to become a better lover in my opinion is to Ask Actual Women. Every woman is different but the knowledge you gain from them you can crib together a style of your own. If you have a mate I would ask, “What am I doing to please you? Can I do something better? Am I doing something bad?”

How are you supposed to improve if you don’t know what you need to improve on?

That question will remain unanswered for the time being but its something to be mindful men.

Now ladies don’t think I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m not here to bash you guys for getting your information on how to please guys. Misogyny, Sexual Politics and (sadly) Pornography has made it difficult for Women to compete. That being said you shouldn’t have to take information from magazines that give advice such as this:

Um the tact that they are using Atari video game analogy prove how behind the times that they are. C’mon people we are in the PS3/XBox 360 age now!!

Not that I don’t find this cute and I did pull it from Cracked.com but it does shed light how simplistic I think the Sex advice that these type of magazines give out to women as fact. So basically that person goes from one person to the next breaking off lovers with bad sex. Shouldn’t we want to break the cycle. If not to improve your sexual experience but to help the next person involved with the bad sex person.

So my question to you is as it was at the top: Would you teach someone who would less experienced that you sexually? How Would you handle It?

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Again one of the wonderful things about Twitter is the conversations that you have with other folk. While trying to come up with a topic for today I was asked the question: “What would be your perfect Porn Star?”

Unfortunately my perfect Porn Star is not just one woman but a combination of several women I have come across while watching porn.

First off in order for her to be a perfect Porn Star she has have Marketability. Be it via her website or other outside ventures, she has to be able to generate buzz and dollars even if the market can’t. No one does this better than Jenna Jameson.

Although I’m not a fan, I do marvel at the woman’s hustle. She started as a stripper in 1993 and managed to work her way as CEO of her own adult entertainment company ClubJenna which boasts $30 Million a Year in revenue. She is instantly recognizable in and outside the world of porn. Her stripper past in considered an afterthought as she has become a pop culture Icon. She has starred in a vast array of non-pornographic efforts from the NBC drama Mister Sterling in 2003 to 2008 Horror-Comedy Zombie Strippers.

I think that both Jayla Starr and Pinky have the ability to reach this plateau as both have very strong internet presence.

Now in order to be able to have that Marketability you need to have that certain Cross-Over Appeal. Yes Jenna carries herself well to several venues but in my opinion she can’t hold a candle to the Great Vanessa Del-Rio who not only has starred in over 100 films since her appearance in the adult industry in 1974.

What Porn Star can claim a vast career, be mentioned in Rap songs by Ice Cube, Lil Kim, Digital Underground, Chubb Rock, Busta Rhymes and The Game and have an appearance on NYPD Blue?

And let us not forget her cameo in “Get Money” by Junior M.A.F.I.A. (The fun starts at 2:46)

Watch her discuss her impact and a book (Fifty Years of Slightly Slutty Behavior) that is in the works in the video below:

Now that we have covered the outside influences that is needed to take the Porn Star to the superstar level, you need to include physical aspects to porn acting. First up: Perfect Dick Sucking

You need to work the dick like you are sucking it like “it had the the antidote in it!” In my humble opinion, no one sucks dick on camera like Ice La Fox. I have never seen anyone pay attention to the oral like Ice when she was on camera. The only one that comes close is a retired porn actress Mary Jane.

They both pay loving attention to the shaft and head of the dick while using their lips to manage both. Ice looks as if she completely loves the act as oral and it transmits perfectly from the screen.

Next Up, the perfect Porn Star needs to have a Good Sex Game. I can’t stress the importance of this as I have watched many of a bad actor that was carried by a good actress that made the scene better than it really was. Jazmine Cashmere is a good example of this. I haven’t seen her put out a bad scene just because the actor she was working with was just bad.

I don’t know about you, but I love for my actresses can talk a good game while getting down. You have to have a good Vocal Component in order convey the sexual heat of needed in the scene. When it works good you have blazing scenes produced by actresses such as Mone Devine, Jazmine Cashmere and Ice La Fox. Conversely there are several Male Performers who don’t know how to do this well and screw up the scene with lines that come “straight out of a comic book.” (Points for anyone who knows where that quote comes from) A side eye to LT and Wetley Pipes who have ruined many of scenes for me.

I’m sure you’re noticing that I left Looks. It was on purpose. Although I do think that looks are slightly important if you don’t have the other components you are not going to make it as a porn star. I’ve known fine women would completely screw up a scene because they were worrying about being too pretty and not committing themselves to the scene.

So readers am I off the bend on this one. Who is your Perfect Porn Star?

Well that’s all for now … back to the reality of the world. More later

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Seems like I have to clear some things up.

When I wrote my post about would I let my daughter do porn, it seemed a bit sexist to some of my readers. Please note that when I wrote the original post it was based on a question that was posed to me by a close friend. I wanted to answer that as if I was a parent who had an actual daughter thinking about going in that direction.

I did not want anyone think that I would not due diligence for a son who was thinking about becoming a pornography actor. However as much as we want to think that boys need equal protection … sadly in the world of Porn, my son would probably have a better career path than my daughter would in the current porn climate.

That doesn’t mean that men aren’t used and abused just like the women in various porn productions. As they a frequently used a objects within a scene you rarely see men as more than instruments to move the scene or they are to reinforce a stereotype to sell more DVDs/Videos. For P.O.C., if forces them to make the decision to either being degraded and go without work.

And even if males get work, its usually at a lower pay scale than the women in the scene that they are with. (Unless they do Gay scenes)

I would tell my son that he’s going to be lumped in with Sleazy Performer’s and Producers. Its not going to affect his professional life but his private life as well. Yes some of his male friends will be enamored with the life that he lives but try finding a woman outside the industry that will sympathize with his line of work.

I would tell him all of this and tell him the same thing I would tell my daughter: “Do What You Need To!”

And hope and pray he makes the decision that is right for him.

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This question popped up while I was talking to a good friend of mine from Chicago. Seems like with my vast amount of Porn in my home plus the fact that I visit a strip club or two means that Karma says that I’m due for my daughters Jazmine or Niaria to start headlining at Magic City or doing DVDs.

For the record I have no kids. I plan on having some as soon as the universe blesses me with an equally understanding wife who shares some of the kinks that I do (that is another story for another blog WAAAAAY down the line). Be that as it may, I think I can still answer the question without any difficulty.

Of course I realize that this means my daughter of is 18 years of age and has fully graduated from High School. She may have a couple of years of college under her belt and wants to explore non-traditional methods of making money. I can’t fathom the reason but if my “of age” daughter comes to me as says she wants to make Stripping or Porn her way of life I hope that her mother and I will be able to tell her with all of the love in our hearts.

“Do what you need to.”

After saying that I would plan on giving her much information as possible. Hopefully Monica Foster’s site, GettingIntoPorn.com will still be up so she could avoid many of the pitfalls that happen to young women who don’t pay proper attention to their careers.

I would let her know that the images that she puts out there on the internet or on DVD she will never be able to get back. It will be out there for all to see. Not many men will see her as the way that I might-An Intelligent, fully functioning member of society that chose porn/striping as a career route.

No, the majority of men and women will see her as a whole. She will join the ranks of Sex works and other types of Adult Entertainers that looked at the dregs of society. [Slightly Off Topic: I find it surprising that the majority of people who would watch porn and enjoy its efforts on one hand would disrespect those doing the "dirty work" on the other.]

I’m not going to give my daughter the Pollyanna look at the porn industry as end all for easy money, quick money she can earn off the backs of many and the penises of a large majority. Porn in its current form is a rough business.

I’m really hoping that the porn game will have changed as much for the better than it is right now. I’m hoping that there will be places and companies hoping to due quality work, will nurture their actresses and try to attract more women with a softer touch.

I would hope that she would be able to find work with a company that cares about her well-being as a performer and not someone who’s on the assembly line of cocks and pussies they are using to make as much money as possible. If my daughter doesn’t like a scene I would hope that she finds a director who can make her feel comfortable and allay some of her fears. (“You wanna shoot this with a condom … We can do that.” “Don’t want to be called a ‘Nigger Bitch’ and spat on, not a problem!”)

Pollyanna I know. I understand that porn is a business and like with any business, you can expect sometimes you have to play ball. However you should be able to do a job and have your dignity intact.

So I would give all of this information to my daughter, hug her tightly and tell her that I’m still going to be her father no matter what.

To answer the question: Yes, Mr. BlackSexxx would allow his daughter to do porn … and pray at the end of the day she doesn’t come back to me broken than when I let her go.

So tell me readers, am I off my rocker that I would let my daughter (that I don’t even have yet) participate in the porn business? Or am I on to something?

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Give Your Top Five Adult Film Actors…

No question it’s has to be 1) Jazmine Cashmere, 2) Italia Blu, 3) Monet Devine, 4) Melody Nakai & 5) Pinky.

Now to explain my list I went with ladies who give performances that draw you into what they are doing. These ladies carry their scene regardless of the dudes (or ladies) that are with them. When their partners don’t deliver they are well adept to come with line, moan or movement that let the view know that they are the focal point of the scene.

And Yes I know I didn’t include men in the list but that’s a post for a later time … Believe me.

And as always you can post your answers anonymously.

Popularity: 6% [?]

I was watching a scene in the film Big Butt Bachelor Party. (Download It here)

The scene is basically Jazmine Cashmere’s Bachelorette Party (she’s actually getting married to her fiance played by Nat Turnher). The dancers, played by Jon Jon & Justin Long, are brought it by Lacy Duvalle (who’s looking fabulous fully clothed) for the pleasure of Jazmine’s group of girls played by Donna Red, Pleasure Unique, Kandy Kane, Kaylani Cream & Sabrina Love.

I was struck how I was turned on by the scene. Maybe it was the fact that it was a scene that was dominated by women. From Jazmine Cashmere directing traffic at the Bachelor party to Pleasure Unique getting in on the action with a couple of well placed blow jobs.

The scene itself had a very realistic feel to it and didn’t seem to degrade the women as much as would if handled by a different director. I will see myself watching this scene quite a few times and not get tired of it.

Which leads me to today’s Porn Question Of the Day: What was the most memorable scene in a porn do you remember watching?

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What Actor/Actress makes your Dick Jump/Vagina Wet?

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What was the first Porn that you remember watching?

Mine: Let Me Tell You About Black Chicks. Thanks to my Uncle who had a complete stash of porno films at the ready. I must admit it was quite and eye-opening experience. I’ve been hooked ever since.

Popularity: 2% [?]