Posts Tagged ‘Open Letter’

Hello Blackwoman,

It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to you woman to man.

No B.S. No Bluster. No Strum und Drang. Just two people sharing thoughts and ideas.

You remember the days don’t you? Those happy times back in the day we had a love for you. It was a good love. It was a love that said that we had to have each other’s backs because the world was against us.

Either marching with Martin or using Necessary Means with Malcolm, we didn’t care. We told the world frequently and often that “You were All I Needed To Get By”, that “Ain’t No Mountain was High Enough” or love was “Solid” We loved each other, wanted each other, cared for each other.

Through thick and thin, through lynchings and cross burnings, through fire hoses and dogs … we had each other.

Unfortunately, things changed. I’m not sure when but suddenly it wasn’t fashionable for Blackmen to love you as much as they did before. No more did we praise you in music and word and quite frequently we failed to acknowledge your presence as the backbone of the Black Experience.

So because Blackmen hurt you by our words and actions, we became less of a desirable option for you to be with, to support and to honor.

No one should put blame on the other. We were both at fault … and the chasm grew wider. So times passed and our kids didn’t have the same love for each other.

Supahead was more than just a word to some people, she was an industry to herself. R. Kelly was using Blackgirls as his own urinal, all the while singing about the “Bump and Grind.”

So the anger boiled over and now simple hellos from Blackwomen and Blackmen are now met with skepticism from the other party.

Now when we were talking about each other like it was cold and disrespectful. We described each other in way different term:

“Nigga’s Ain’t Shit.”
“Bitches Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks.”

We don’t talk to each other Blackwoman. I’ve had a hand in that personally in some instances and for that I need to apologize.

However we both know that we can’t continue doing this to each other. Because for all the screaming we are doing at each other:

“The Attitude … That’s why I don’t date sistas!”
“White Men know how to treat a Black Woman!”

It doesn’t solve the problem, it doesn’t give the answer and all we get is white noise.

I still love you Blackwoman and deep down I know that you love me too. I know that this is only a temporary blip on the radar. Soon the Blackman is going to get his shit to together in a way that it was before Malcolm, Martin and Medella.

We have too … we got too. Because we have kids out there who think its okay to say “I Need A Soulja,” “Project Bitch” “Hood Boy” or “Bad Bitch.”

These are not labels that should be for the future mothers and fathers of our children.

Because if we don’t there won’t be any of US any more.

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Hello Sweetie,

I’m sorry it took me so long to write to you. I’ve been busy searching for your mom and trying to school your brother on the ways of life. I wanted to make sure that he was straight before I got to you. It wasn’t because I loved you any less but rather because I loved you just as more.

I know you are scratching your head wondering about this but give me a chance to explain.

You see there are many Men out there who ain’t like your brother and your daddy. They have made their bones about treating Women with less than the respect they are deserve to be treated. They make babies with Women they do not want to make families with, they use Women as sexual objects and even “lay hands” on those they have supposedly love.

You’ve heard the stories. These types of guys get better ink in the press and video play on the news. They have better press agents than good men and seemingly their man objective is to selfishly prove that women ain’t shit.

Yes I cursed but that’s because I’m using the language to make a point. In the future people will use much stronger words towards you: They’ll call you bitch, whore or if they are really feeling froggy they’ll call you a cunt.

Harsh words, yes. But I want you to know one thing: You are not those words. I’ll say it again so it sticks: YOU ARE NOT THOSE WORDS.

You are a strong, intelligent and beautiful Black Woman and no one can tell you how you should feel about yourself.

You create your own destiny with your actions and hopefully if I have done my job correctly you will be a strong example to both Men and Women on how to carry yourself.

Being that example it will require you to wear a heavy crown. Some Men will look to you as being stuck up and some Women will look at you as thinking that you are better than they are.

Sweetie, having choices in this world doesn’t mean that you are looking down on others or treating people like dirt. It means that you are being selective and in selecting the best possible person you will enhance your life not devalue your it.

You deserve to be with a good Man. There are those type of Men out there no matter what the media, bloggers or angry Black Women tell you different. There are Men who want to love you and treat you like Malcolm treated Betty or like Medgar loved Myrtle. They want to adore you like Martin adored Correta.

There are Men out there who want to make you the central point of their lives. If I have done my job you’ll be able to recognize the difference between those who do and those who don’t.

Now hopefully this will bring you to attention of different types of men. I can’t stop what you like and hopefully some Good Man would make themselves available to you. However, if you meet a man who treats you just as good or better than I or your brother had and the only thing different is that he’s white, yellow, or pokadot you take that chance and grab that brass ring.

Because you are the most important person in any relationship you might have. No man: friend, boyfriend, husband hell even your brother or me should treat you less than the Queen that you are. If they don’t you … don’t have to stay in that relationship.

Some Men will try to say anything to get you to go against your values. Hell when I was younger I did that myself. They will tell you they love you, that they can’t live without you or that you are the only one for them. What you need to do is use your head, think about the ramifications of any actions.

You are your own person and I’ll always love you. This is why I have written this letter to you. There are many dangers out there but I wanted you to be aware of them.

Hopefully, if I’ve done my job right both your brother and I will have nothing to worry about.

Popularity: 9% [?]

Hello son,

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a sit down. I know that you’ve been busy with just starting school, doing your chores and just being an overall great kid but I think we need to rap a little.

First I want you to know that I love you. Yes, I know that your friends don’t think that its cool that your old man has been gushing on you at every opportunity, but just because you’re a man doesn’t men you can’t show affection. So I’m going to show you that at every opportunity because every son should know how his father feels about them … because growing up I really didn’t get that opportunity.

Now that we got that out the way let me tell you why I called your hear today. You see I know what you are feeling and I know what you are thinking. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no psychic but the reason why I know what’s going on in your head is because I’ve been your age.

You’re thinking about sex.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been your age as I’ve said before. And having lived that age I have experience.

I have the experience of being that awkward kid sitting the back of the class fighting the urges while looking at that hottie in the tight white sweater. I have the experience of waking up in the middle of the night in horror after my first nocturnal emission. I have the experience of having soldier rise to attention just when the teacher calls to ask you to the board up front.

So believe me when I tell you that I know what you are going through. I know enough to ask you to do something that I know must be hard for you.

Wait.

I know that word will go in one ear and out the other, but hear me out. I’m not asking you this as a parent who doesn’t want you to experience this thing. No, my asking you to wait is because I want you to be able to experience everything that come with the decision.

You see your dad was only 19 when he lost his and after all these years he still is confused and confounded by the world of sex.

There’s all the different positions.
There’s all those different type of terms.
There’s all those different types of sex.
There’s all those different diseases.

But most of all there is all the emotions that come with it. Emotions that would take someone with a PhD in psychology to master.

You think that crush on Susie Rickenbacker is difficult to get a hold on now, add sex to the mix and watch you go crazy. I’ve seen folk do some insane things for pussy and you have to know its like crack.

Yes your dad fell under the same spell too but thankfully your momma was all that I needed.

This is going to be one of many talks I plan on having with you about sex because I wouldn’t bee that much of a father if I didn’t.

So for the moment … just wait, be a kid for a while before opening that door. The right girl is going to understand.

And you’ll feel much better for it.

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I used to have a sugardvd.com account (which is like an an Adult NetFlix) which allowed me to rent a movies titles. However I found I had to give it up and turned to message board and other blogs on the internet because it used to bother me whenever I visited my sugardvd or the local video store and same titles kept popping up and I didn’t see any variety in the Black section.

Downloading Clips from the internet blogs and message board seemingly was the easiest to capture and review. That is how I became knowledgeable in certain actresses or certain series by getting those scenes and reviewing them without the weight of their terrible titles or racist themes.

That’s to going outside the box, I came to know actresses like Lexi Cruz, Jazmine Cashmere, Injoi and Vida Valentine.

But I found more often that naught I wasn’t happy with the selection that was out there. I mean I love a good nasty throwndown on film but like my Gangsta Rap, I needed something else to balance it out with. There wasn’t the type of porn out there that I hope that I could watch with a girlfriend or wife so she could feel comfortable with watching.

Based on my own experiences, I’ve come up with 6 Things I’m Not Feeling In Porn Right Now

6) Women Who Get The Short End of the Stick in Porn. There are a lot of reasons why I hear porn in bad. However the majority of porn out there does not help the argument. I know a lot of women who watch porn. Specifically they are women of color … and they complain frequently of the lack of porn that speaks to them. The want want what our Caucasian sisters and brothers want: Movies with good story lines and people with good/great bodies. For a black male such as myself I can do though a list of hundreds of good looking women doing porn … Women: Not so much. Women have to see men they wouldn’t normally talk to in the street who’s only reason they are on camera is that they can get hard on camera. Or they get movies that leave them out of the mix altogether. I think that Pimp Juice is a great series for men and that’s because females can’t get down with it because they are not a fan of the Money Shot (As my friends frequently tell me). Why hasn’t some director or producer taken notice that this is an untapped source of revenue and want to attempt to milk it for all its worth? How hard is it to make movies for women of color that doesn’t include the cum shots in the face that turn them off?

5) Gimmick Porn Actresses: I get it everyone has to have a hook in order for you to separate from the pack. Cheeroke-D-Ass has a big ass, Pinky has pink hair … but Aurora Jolie? Aurora, her big claim to fame is that she’s the first vaginal virgin to do porn. She says she’s saving that for someone special but guys have gone in her ass and shot up so much nut in her face that if you put a mustache on her she’s an extra of Oz. When did folk start resorting to the Bill Clinton Rule of Law when describing sex? I’m sorry to say it dear but just because you’ve only done it one way means that you’re not longer a virgin. If the three letter word comes at the end of the act (oral, anal or vaginal) it means that you are no longer a virgin. So lets stop that before it gets too out of hand and focus on good acting and production. (Note: Aurora has lost her virginity but she will only do it on camera when her website is up an running … which mean’s that she’s only going to do it for 9.99 a pop)

4) Gimmick Movie Themes: Look I don’t mind the fact that there are fetishes, hell I have them. But don’t keep hitting me with the same theme with a hundred plus movies. First it was Vanity titles, then ghetto cheerleaders, then creampies, then wet asses. (On a side note can we please stop with all of the shots with people pour wet stuff over woman’s booties before they get down to business. Did I miss the memo which told me that all the rage?) We should stop this too and put out a variety of different titles and stop trying to hit me over the head with just one. Now its doing Porn Spoofs of TV shows and sitcoms. I mean just today I just got a Tweet from Kapri Styles that she’s doing one for the Jeffersons. The Jeffersons?!?!?! Who wants to see George and Weezie getting buck wild?

3) The “Rap”-I-zation Of Porn: I like rap, I like sex … I’m not sure I’m a fan of seeing them mixed together. After Snoop hit it big with his own porno, it seemed like everyone decided to start putting out movies that had a rap component. Either they had a “music video” by an unknown rapper and the porn chicks or they had a Porn actor who was also a “part-time” rapper. I don’t want to watch a porn where some dude with 10 pounds of bling on trying to sex down this woman in a movie. It doesn’t very comfortable for the girl and I think folk need to stop it.

2) Bodies In Porn: There are some girls in the industry, who should not be doing porn. Either they are to far in either extreme … too fat and too skinny or they look like crack heads. And if its bad for us … I don’t know how you women watch porn with the lack of men of looks out there. This guy who looks like Shrek is currently doing porn … how is that sexy for a woman??

1) The Obvious Racism and Sexism in a Business Owned and Run by White Men: I struggled with putting this one on the list. I know that for the most part I’m feeding the beast, but I look at it like reducing my carbon footprint. To that end, I do a lot of research in the companies that put out the pictures before watching movies. I stay away from companies who’s titles are blatantly racists (“Nappy Headed Hoes” comes to mind), I stay away from website who’s copy is written in way that clearly is disparaging to the sister (I could repeat some here but what’s the point). I know actor/actresses got to eat but damn is a paycheck worth being called a “Black Bitch” while people cum in your face (Ghetto Gaggers-no I won’t put a link to it), is a paycheck worth you acting like the stereotypical thug while dicking down the local white girl (Monster Dicks and White chicks). The more that we fall for this stuff the more they are just going to keep doing.

Okay that’s my list … What aren’t you feeling in Porn as a consumer?

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I was going to post the Top Ten Rentals in Adult Ethnic Rentals but I’m turned off by many of the titles that show up that seem to perpetuate the stereotype of the Big Black Buck. I know that many of these titles are specifically following a nitch but I can’t help but be turned away from many of these exploitative films.

Which leads me into the what I want this site to be about. I want to focus on the beauty that is Ebony Porn. I do not want to make this about calling Black women Phat Bitches, Horny Hoes or anything that would degrade these women in any way.

I know these women are in the adult business but I don’t want to regulate them as just being items on the box. I don’t want to just mark them as pieces of ass or hoes that I can point to and get my jollies off.

We don’t do the same to stars like Jenna, Asia or Tera and I won’t do that here.

So I’ll be coming up with my own listing … and trying to put a more positive spin on Ebony performers.

More later.

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