Posts Tagged ‘Open Discussion’

Hello Blackwoman,

It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to you woman to man.

No B.S. No Bluster. No Strum und Drang. Just two people sharing thoughts and ideas.

You remember the days don’t you? Those happy times back in the day we had a love for you. It was a good love. It was a love that said that we had to have each other’s backs because the world was against us.

Either marching with Martin or using Necessary Means with Malcolm, we didn’t care. We told the world frequently and often that “You were All I Needed To Get By”, that “Ain’t No Mountain was High Enough” or love was “Solid” We loved each other, wanted each other, cared for each other.

Through thick and thin, through lynchings and cross burnings, through fire hoses and dogs … we had each other.

Unfortunately, things changed. I’m not sure when but suddenly it wasn’t fashionable for Blackmen to love you as much as they did before. No more did we praise you in music and word and quite frequently we failed to acknowledge your presence as the backbone of the Black Experience.

So because Blackmen hurt you by our words and actions, we became less of a desirable option for you to be with, to support and to honor.

No one should put blame on the other. We were both at fault … and the chasm grew wider. So times passed and our kids didn’t have the same love for each other.

Supahead was more than just a word to some people, she was an industry to herself. R. Kelly was using Blackgirls as his own urinal, all the while singing about the “Bump and Grind.”

So the anger boiled over and now simple hellos from Blackwomen and Blackmen are now met with skepticism from the other party.

Now when we were talking about each other like it was cold and disrespectful. We described each other in way different term:

“Nigga’s Ain’t Shit.”
“Bitches Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks.”

We don’t talk to each other Blackwoman. I’ve had a hand in that personally in some instances and for that I need to apologize.

However we both know that we can’t continue doing this to each other. Because for all the screaming we are doing at each other:

“The Attitude … That’s why I don’t date sistas!”
“White Men know how to treat a Black Woman!”

It doesn’t solve the problem, it doesn’t give the answer and all we get is white noise.

I still love you Blackwoman and deep down I know that you love me too. I know that this is only a temporary blip on the radar. Soon the Blackman is going to get his shit to together in a way that it was before Malcolm, Martin and Medella.

We have too … we got too. Because we have kids out there who think its okay to say “I Need A Soulja,” “Project Bitch” “Hood Boy” or “Bad Bitch.”

These are not labels that should be for the future mothers and fathers of our children.

Because if we don’t there won’t be any of US any more.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Hello Sweetie,

I’m sorry it took me so long to write to you. I’ve been busy searching for your mom and trying to school your brother on the ways of life. I wanted to make sure that he was straight before I got to you. It wasn’t because I loved you any less but rather because I loved you just as more.

I know you are scratching your head wondering about this but give me a chance to explain.

You see there are many Men out there who ain’t like your brother and your daddy. They have made their bones about treating Women with less than the respect they are deserve to be treated. They make babies with Women they do not want to make families with, they use Women as sexual objects and even “lay hands” on those they have supposedly love.

You’ve heard the stories. These types of guys get better ink in the press and video play on the news. They have better press agents than good men and seemingly their man objective is to selfishly prove that women ain’t shit.

Yes I cursed but that’s because I’m using the language to make a point. In the future people will use much stronger words towards you: They’ll call you bitch, whore or if they are really feeling froggy they’ll call you a cunt.

Harsh words, yes. But I want you to know one thing: You are not those words. I’ll say it again so it sticks: YOU ARE NOT THOSE WORDS.

You are a strong, intelligent and beautiful Black Woman and no one can tell you how you should feel about yourself.

You create your own destiny with your actions and hopefully if I have done my job correctly you will be a strong example to both Men and Women on how to carry yourself.

Being that example it will require you to wear a heavy crown. Some Men will look to you as being stuck up and some Women will look at you as thinking that you are better than they are.

Sweetie, having choices in this world doesn’t mean that you are looking down on others or treating people like dirt. It means that you are being selective and in selecting the best possible person you will enhance your life not devalue your it.

You deserve to be with a good Man. There are those type of Men out there no matter what the media, bloggers or angry Black Women tell you different. There are Men who want to love you and treat you like Malcolm treated Betty or like Medgar loved Myrtle. They want to adore you like Martin adored Correta.

There are Men out there who want to make you the central point of their lives. If I have done my job you’ll be able to recognize the difference between those who do and those who don’t.

Now hopefully this will bring you to attention of different types of men. I can’t stop what you like and hopefully some Good Man would make themselves available to you. However, if you meet a man who treats you just as good or better than I or your brother had and the only thing different is that he’s white, yellow, or pokadot you take that chance and grab that brass ring.

Because you are the most important person in any relationship you might have. No man: friend, boyfriend, husband hell even your brother or me should treat you less than the Queen that you are. If they don’t you … don’t have to stay in that relationship.

Some Men will try to say anything to get you to go against your values. Hell when I was younger I did that myself. They will tell you they love you, that they can’t live without you or that you are the only one for them. What you need to do is use your head, think about the ramifications of any actions.

You are your own person and I’ll always love you. This is why I have written this letter to you. There are many dangers out there but I wanted you to be aware of them.

Hopefully, if I’ve done my job right both your brother and I will have nothing to worry about.

Popularity: 9% [?]

Hello son,

It’s been a long time since we’ve had a sit down. I know that you’ve been busy with just starting school, doing your chores and just being an overall great kid but I think we need to rap a little.

First I want you to know that I love you. Yes, I know that your friends don’t think that its cool that your old man has been gushing on you at every opportunity, but just because you’re a man doesn’t men you can’t show affection. So I’m going to show you that at every opportunity because every son should know how his father feels about them … because growing up I really didn’t get that opportunity.

Now that we got that out the way let me tell you why I called your hear today. You see I know what you are feeling and I know what you are thinking. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no psychic but the reason why I know what’s going on in your head is because I’ve been your age.

You’re thinking about sex.

How do I know this? Because I’ve been your age as I’ve said before. And having lived that age I have experience.

I have the experience of being that awkward kid sitting the back of the class fighting the urges while looking at that hottie in the tight white sweater. I have the experience of waking up in the middle of the night in horror after my first nocturnal emission. I have the experience of having soldier rise to attention just when the teacher calls to ask you to the board up front.

So believe me when I tell you that I know what you are going through. I know enough to ask you to do something that I know must be hard for you.

Wait.

I know that word will go in one ear and out the other, but hear me out. I’m not asking you this as a parent who doesn’t want you to experience this thing. No, my asking you to wait is because I want you to be able to experience everything that come with the decision.

You see your dad was only 19 when he lost his and after all these years he still is confused and confounded by the world of sex.

There’s all the different positions.
There’s all those different type of terms.
There’s all those different types of sex.
There’s all those different diseases.

But most of all there is all the emotions that come with it. Emotions that would take someone with a PhD in psychology to master.

You think that crush on Susie Rickenbacker is difficult to get a hold on now, add sex to the mix and watch you go crazy. I’ve seen folk do some insane things for pussy and you have to know its like crack.

Yes your dad fell under the same spell too but thankfully your momma was all that I needed.

This is going to be one of many talks I plan on having with you about sex because I wouldn’t bee that much of a father if I didn’t.

So for the moment … just wait, be a kid for a while before opening that door. The right girl is going to understand.

And you’ll feel much better for it.

Popularity: 8% [?]

I’ve been burning up my blog with post as they come my way. I’m happy of course because their means that their has been a number of stories that deserve to have the light shed on them.

I am only your humble “reporter” when it comes to this porn and sexual related.

Moving On:

I’ve been hearing buzz about Brian Pumper that he has been the absolute worst actor to work with. The completes have been several from his terrible Stroke Work to his refusal to stop wearing gaudy “Rap” jewelry during sex scenes (Many actresses have complained that their hair frequently gets caught in them – Ouch!) .

Now comes this news:

With all the public furor about the health of adult performers, Evil Angel honchos John and Karen Stagliano have stepped up to the plate to insure that all of the productions being released under their imprint are STD-free … and it’s that dedication that led to the company’s decision to part ways with director/actor Brian Pumper.

When a report surfaced earlier this week that Pumper had included a forged STD test with the paperwork for a movie he had recently delivered to Evil Angel, the porn rumor mill quickly slammed into high gear, and the company soon realized that it would have to be more forthcoming as to the reasons for the split than its earlier announcement of “creative differences.” – Source

The L.A. County Board Of Supervisors has been pushing for Condoms on all X-Rated shoots. I agree that condoms should be available to protect ALL actors because sadly Assholes like Brian Pumper are going to try to cheat the system.

Second Musing:

At the Value Voters Summit on September 19, several speakers mentioned how Pornography was ruining America. Normally I take these quotes with a simple shrug and move on but there was one quote that made me do a double take.

Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), told a group of attendees at the Value Voters Summit on Saturday that all pornography is gay pornography because it “turns your sexual drive inwards.” – Source

I didn’t post this quote to get into a discussion about the Goodness and Badness of porn (that will be discussed in posts in the future I’m sure). I wanted to focus on the homophobia that the quote seems to generate. Homosexuality had nothing to do with the original discussion about the “Blight” that is Pornography but Michael Schwartz wanted to include that to kill two birds with one stone.

The point: Watching Sex is Bad … but Loving someone of the same sex is worse.

Okay I got to keep this short as no one likes it when I start rambling.

Final Point: In less than two weeks I have a challenge with my Fellow Blogger Sincerely, Go regarding the Monday Night Game on November 2nd between Atlanta and New Orleans.

Click Here To Find Out What Her Blog Is All About.

If Atlanta Wins I get to craft a posting on her blog … If New Orleans she gets to do the same on mine. It should prove to be very interesting no matter how it goes.

Although with that pasting the Saints put on the Giants this week (48-27) does put a bit of worry my way. A bit.

More later.

Popularity: 4% [?]