Archive for October, 2009
I was going to write something frivolous today. It was going to be my Top Ten Non-Porn Sex Scenes but something happened…
You see there was a Dance at Richmond High School located in Richmond, CA. It was supposed to be dance to celebrate good times and the school’s annual Homecoming.
Unfortunately, not to far from the bright lights and smooth music a 15-year old girl was gang raped while an audience of 20-plus folk who watched, took pictures on cellphones and cheered!
That’s right … you read correctly, they did nothing but watch this poor girl get her womanhood taken for their amusement.
One boy, named Rubio, tells the paper that at one point some ‘dudes’ came up to him on the street as the attacks were going on. ‘They said she was naked, and if you want to get f—ed, go back there,’ he said.
Right now I can bet you that videos and pictures of that crime is swirling around the internet even as we speak.
Thankfully (I use that word loosely) there has been some progress on the case:
Salvador Rodriguez, 21, was the first suspect brought in to the police department Tuesday evening. He was arrested near his home in central Richmond.
Police released footage taken from police department surveillance cameras. It shows a 16-year-old former Richmond High student being brought in after his arrest near his home in San Pablo and a 17-year-old Pinole resident who turned himself in after police raided his home.
All three were booked on one count of gang rape and are expected to face other charges.
Two other suspects remain in custody including a 19-year-old man and a 15-year-old Richmond High student, who was pulled out of class by detectives on Monday and later arrested. Police now say he is the person who was acquainted with the victim
Authorities are still searching for more suspects. And they say they are confident they will make all the arrests.
Let me make this perfectly clear to those who just visit the site or my loyal readers: I watch porn, I go to strip clubs but watching a child getting raped on a bench in the open air is SICK! I feel sorry for their parents who raised such animals to interact with “regular folk.”
Now I would say that this would bring out the likes of Jessie and Al were they would be disgusted by this act and start protests to bring light to this problem.
Richmond High School has a 69 percent truancy rate and is in a school district that had 19 student murders last year. Fights at Richmond have been posted on YouTube, and a van was set on fire on the football field’s new artificial turf. An investigation by CBS station KPIX-TV last year found only a handful of the 16 security cameras in the school were working.
However we all know that Al and Jessie are a little lax when it comes to sexual violence against women of color by men of color. I have yet to see Jessie and Al even speak on the Dunbar Village Incident when a Mother was forced to perform a sex act on her own child. Or the Sara Kruzan who’s in jail for the rest of her life for killing her rapist/pimp. If this was a woman of Color that was Raped by a Group of White Men they would have hogged the media and raised money for her college education.
I’m sure that Jessie and Al have a lot to do with Busting A Move at Entertainer’s Funerals and Getting Mistaken for the other person, but clearly women of color need the power of your “celebrity.” Just don’t pick and choose the women you need to fight for because they ALL need your help.
Rape is Rape in any language, creed or color.
Sorry this wasn’t supposed to a rant about the Reverands. This was supposed to be a discussion about Gang Rape and the cowards that did absoulutely nothing to stop it.
2 and 1/2 hours.
Two and a half hours.
In less that 150 minutes a 15 year old was gang raped by six men who felt that she owed them because she had the nerve to share a drink with them. And she had to do it in front of a crowd of strangers, classmates … citzens to her town.
To the men who did the crime: Would you have been so caviler if someone did this someone that they knew?
To the men who stayed and watch: Would you be cheering and snapping with your camera phone if was their mother, sister or daughter was used as a sex prop?
I’m sure the answers to both of these questions is no. More than likely Hell, No!
Of course its probably because the women in their lives are to be adored, loved and protected. While other women are just to looked at as bitches, hoes and sluts.
I am saddened that this happen and I wonder that my daughter yet to be born is going to have to worry about this … or worse.
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Tell Your Friends
I run my mouth on this blog about things but I rarely get the time to shout out other people who are informing folks about Sex and Sexual issues. I thought I would do my part and shine some light on some of these folks. Peruse and form your own opinion.
The Perverted Negress
This young lady is showing folk that BDSM/SM is not just relegated to those of our Caucasian Brothers and Sisters. Stop by her site if you want to know how this woman and others are thinking outside the box.
The African Orchid Gallery
This 21 year old college student from Ghana has decided to explore the world of sexuality through words and pictures. Interesting cornucopia of images and thoughts you didn’t think was possible.
After Dark Actions
Offers frank and honest discussions regarding women and sex. Please feel free to stop by and offer your own voice to the ongoing discussion.
AfroerotiK
Remember when I wrote that post about not being able to find sexy/sensual pictures featuring Black Folk. One of my readers put me on this website created by Scottie Lowe who described the reason why she created the site:
Scottie Lowe was tired of being approached by men who saw her as a freak, a novelty, or an object, and desperate to find erotic material that represented her full sensual expression, AfroerotiK began as a vehicle to demystify, arouse, to educate and enlighten.
Sex and The Sisters
According to the website, “Black women have a dynamic, complex, and often confusing relationship with our sexualities and the expression of them.” Stop by and delve into the the deep and the enriching conversation.
A Black Girl’s Guide To Sex & Seduction: Sex From A Black Woman’s Perspective
I came across this website thanks to Sincerely, Go. The site discusses many things regarding Sex and Relationships from a female perspective. Interesting read throughout.
Black, Kinky and Proud
Like a story or poem about Sex and Sexuality, a stop to this website should help with your fix. The young woman who runs the site says that its her way to explore her own sexuality and celebrate her sexual freedom.
Blog of Pro-Porn Activism
This site promotes Porn but not in the way you expect. It does a lot of discussion regarding the politics of Porn and even gives a platform to those who disagree with Porn’s affect on the community.
Man and Wife
I know I’m reaching by putting the MTV Show on this list. But before MTV came calling and neutered the show, Scoop and Shonda had a successful web Vlog the show was based on. I liked it because I found it refreshing a black man and black woman could have an honest conversations regarding sex that is not used to one up each other. Regardless of what you feel about Scoop and Shonda’s antics (more towards Scoop), the site is very informative and entertaining.
[BlogXilla]Dot Com
This site is like a mashup of your favorite hip-hop, pop culture and relationship blogs. Raw and uncut, It focuses its spotlight on Music, Sex and Relationships with a little bit of humor along the way.
These are just a few I’ve come to find along the way. So tell me readers, Which Sex Websites You’ve Come To Enjoy?
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I’ve been burning up my blog with post as they come my way. I’m happy of course because their means that their has been a number of stories that deserve to have the light shed on them.
I am only your humble “reporter” when it comes to this porn and sexual related.
Moving On:
I’ve been hearing buzz about Brian Pumper that he has been the absolute worst actor to work with. The completes have been several from his terrible Stroke Work to his refusal to stop wearing gaudy “Rap” jewelry during sex scenes (Many actresses have complained that their hair frequently gets caught in them – Ouch!) .
Now comes this news:
With all the public furor about the health of adult performers, Evil Angel honchos John and Karen Stagliano have stepped up to the plate to insure that all of the productions being released under their imprint are STD-free … and it’s that dedication that led to the company’s decision to part ways with director/actor Brian Pumper.
When a report surfaced earlier this week that Pumper had included a forged STD test with the paperwork for a movie he had recently delivered to Evil Angel, the porn rumor mill quickly slammed into high gear, and the company soon realized that it would have to be more forthcoming as to the reasons for the split than its earlier announcement of “creative differences.” – Source
The L.A. County Board Of Supervisors has been pushing for Condoms on all X-Rated shoots. I agree that condoms should be available to protect ALL actors because sadly Assholes like Brian Pumper are going to try to cheat the system.
Second Musing:
At the Value Voters Summit on September 19, several speakers mentioned how Pornography was ruining America. Normally I take these quotes with a simple shrug and move on but there was one quote that made me do a double take.
Michael Schwartz, chief of staff for Sen. Tom Coburn (R-Okla.), told a group of attendees at the Value Voters Summit on Saturday that all pornography is gay pornography because it “turns your sexual drive inwards.” – Source
I didn’t post this quote to get into a discussion about the Goodness and Badness of porn (that will be discussed in posts in the future I’m sure). I wanted to focus on the homophobia that the quote seems to generate. Homosexuality had nothing to do with the original discussion about the “Blight” that is Pornography but Michael Schwartz wanted to include that to kill two birds with one stone.
The point: Watching Sex is Bad … but Loving someone of the same sex is worse.
Okay I got to keep this short as no one likes it when I start rambling.
Final Point: In less than two weeks I have a challenge with my Fellow Blogger Sincerely, Go regarding the Monday Night Game on November 2nd between Atlanta and New Orleans.
Click Here To Find Out What Her Blog Is All About.
If Atlanta Wins I get to craft a posting on her blog … If New Orleans she gets to do the same on mine. It should prove to be very interesting no matter how it goes.
Although with that pasting the Saints put on the Giants this week (48-27) does put a bit of worry my way. A bit.
More later.
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So I was having a conversation with my best friend from Chicago about the subject of sex. We were talking about who was the worst person she ever had sex with.
She answered very quickly, “Without a doubt it was _____!”
I was stunned by her ability to recall “the worst” so quickly, but I’m sure that many of my readers would be able to recall their bad sexual encounters just as quickly. However when I hear such stories I always wonder the same thing. “Did you tell him/her they were bad?”
My friend answered that question (as did many of my other friends) the same way: “I don’t have the patience to teach no man/woman.”
I’m not pointing a finger at one gender or another because we all have been in this position one way or another. However my problem is that no one takes the time to tell a sexual partner when they aren’t bringing it in the bed room. I’m talking about constructive criticism used to improve one’s performance.
I remember getting told about how I performed from two women in my past. Tell me which one was better for my sexual development:
Critique #1: “You’re not eating pussy right. Here let me show you how to really please a woman.”
Critique #2: “When I fuck you I don’t feel fucked!”
You don’t have to be a rock scientist to figure that one out.
The woman from the first Critique was patient, informative and guided me to being the cunnilingus monster I am today. As for the second critique … it had me question my whole reason for having sex in the first place.
Look folk, you need to be open and honest in your sexual relationships because its not about just getting the nut when you talk about getting sex. Its about getting the pleasure that both of you can bring to each other.
I know that many of us have tried to get better. For guys we get our Sex Ed from other dudes and by watching Porn. For the ladies they get their information from magazines such as Cosmopolitan and Talk Shows from Oprah and Tyra.
You think the information you get from these sources is going to help your relationship out. I know I might be in the minority but I really don’t think so. A lot of these Sex Help/Relationship Books/Articles believe that there is a one size fits all solution to the problem. Sadly, many problems are more complex than that.
For my Male Readers out there can I share something with you. Watching Porn videos will not give you proper instruction on how to please your lady. I mentioned this in a previous post but I’m saying it again here: the positions in porn are just used to to maximize the visual for the views not for the actors in the scene.
As this excerpt from an article online:
Porn films are to sex education what Hollywood films are to ethics or morality tales. Porn is fake. It may be very sexy fake, but it’s fake nonetheless. The sexual positions used in porn films are chosen not for their likelihood to turn on the actors, or even for the ways that the positions might allow for hot creative sex.
Sex positions in porn are chosen for the way they allow the camera to get wide open access to the genitals (which are still considered the main draw in porn).
I mean really would you think that doing this move would turn your girl out. Seriously, I would break a hip if I tried that.
The best way to become a better lover in my opinion is to Ask Actual Women. Every woman is different but the knowledge you gain from them you can crib together a style of your own. If you have a mate I would ask, “What am I doing to please you? Can I do something better? Am I doing something bad?”
How are you supposed to improve if you don’t know what you need to improve on?
That question will remain unanswered for the time being but its something to be mindful men.
Now ladies don’t think I haven’t forgotten about you. I’m not here to bash you guys for getting your information on how to please guys. Misogyny, Sexual Politics and (sadly) Pornography has made it difficult for Women to compete. That being said you shouldn’t have to take information from magazines that give advice such as this:
Um the tact that they are using Atari video game analogy prove how behind the times that they are. C’mon people we are in the PS3/XBox 360 age now!!
Not that I don’t find this cute and I did pull it from Cracked.com but it does shed light how simplistic I think the Sex advice that these type of magazines give out to women as fact. So basically that person goes from one person to the next breaking off lovers with bad sex. Shouldn’t we want to break the cycle. If not to improve your sexual experience but to help the next person involved with the bad sex person.
So my question to you is as it was at the top: Would you teach someone who would less experienced that you sexually? How Would you handle It?
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I love my readers, I really do. Sometimes when my Google Fu fails there is always someone who puts me on to something else.
I was recently trying to figure out something to write today when Alice as usually came across an article that caught my eye.
It amazes me how these type of websites focus so much on the racism to push their agenda when there actually P.O.C.’s who wants to explore their sexuality.
The question is why don’t we hear more from P.O.C. who are interested in Sex and Sexuality?
I used to love HBO’s Real Sex it opened my eyes to a number of sexual avenues that I was frequently uniformed about. The problem is that while it explored a lot of areas, frequently People of Color were left out. When we were featured it focused on three areas:
- The Punany Poets
- Male and Female Strip Clubs
- The Miss Black Nude America Pageant
Sex covers a vast amount of types, areas and subcultures but if you look for it on TV and the Internet you think that only Caucasian folk who know how to get their “Kink” on.
It saddens me somewhat but I think I know the answer. The problem I believe lies in both Sexism, Racism as well as Religion within many of the communities.
Racism
Think about it how many times when discussing any type of Kink be it BDSM, Fetishism, Poly-Amorism or anything else outside the sexual “norm” its immediately painted as something “that white people do.” I will admit before my own awakening of sorts I raised an eyebrow when the topic of kink came up. Right now their are people struggling with their own sexual identities because they feel that its not normal.
Sexism
Anytime a woman specifically a woman of color is control of her own orgasm or her own sexual identity she is immediately branded as a slut, whore or any type of derogatory names. A friend of mine calls this Slut Shaming.
Religion
Religion plays a major part into shaming people because of their sexual identity. In relgious circles, sex is only supposed to be between a man an a woman, under the sanctity of marriage and should only used to procreate. By following this tenant you leave out a lot of people who enjoy sex .
More Later!
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So in Part I we discussed what type of strip clubs you might visit and the best times to go to your establishment. I thought this time I would get into some other things such as selecting a dancer.
How To Judge Quality of A Strip Club/Dancer?
Everything is subjective. I really depends on what you are looking for in a “dance partner.” I would say that you want a person that exudes a good attitude, a nice smile and bubbly personality. Many has been the time that I had a dancer with a poor attitude that destroys the fact that she’s naked in the first place. [Of course there are reasons for this that I will go into more detail in a later post.]
Is It More Polite To Tip Before or After The Dance/Song?
It really depends on the club. I have known clubs to require a Tip before a song begins or right after the song is concluded. Please note that the a dance is only for one song from beginning to end. When the song is over, she’ll move to to search for another client unless you say otherwise. Inquiring the rules from the dancer beforehand saves a lot of headache.
Is There A Strict No Talking Rule?
There isn’t a rule about talking to the dancers. In fact talking is what them night do to form a connection with you and make you comfortable to enjoy the experience. However it should be noted that dancers are trying to make money and not every conversation will be for you benefit.
How much will I need to tip?
Again I can’t stress this enough, I really depends on the club and the time you go. Depending on your club of choice you are looking at 5-20 dollars (Or more for the “High End Places).
Here’s a break down specifically what you ladies might be paying for:
1) Table Dance
2) Lap Dance
3) Pole Dance
Table Dance – These are the dances where the ladies specifically dance for you at your table. Touches are minimum but nine times out of ten you are going to get a good show as they will strip for you. Be prepared for them to bend over for you, show you their spread labia and/or ass. They will as much as they can for about as much as they possibly can get away with per the rules of the club.
Lap Dance – These dances will allow the ladies to grind specifically on your person. More than naught the dancers will be wearing pasties and/or thongs and will grind their pelvises into yours to achieve the maximum effort.
Pole Dance – The ladies are working most of their trade directly on the pole. Depending on the club there is usually a bounty for the article of clothing to get them truly naked. After that they usually dance for a minimum of two maximum of 4 songs (Again each club is different)
High end clubs like the ones frequented by White Collar Businessmen are going to net you a different experience than your regular lunch pail clubs. Those stripping will be doing their trade on the poles in question with them asking you to tip directly into the G-Strings.
What is out of bounds/in bounds?
Just like your mama told you before you entered into a store: Don’t Touch Nothing, Don’t Start Nothing. Just keep your hands to your self and you should be fine. However ladies it should be noted that some dancers do like to roam in the “Grey Area.” If a dancer “Likes You” the touch rule is more like a suggestion rather than a rule. I remember being with a woman at my local Strip Club (It wasn’t romantic with her she was just a friend). About 2 minutes into the second dance the dancer had her nipple in my friends mouth.
Not to say that will be the experience of every person who goes there … but its funny to notice.
How to deal with male jerks who get off on seeing 2 women?
Sadly you can’t outrun doucheness. Its everywhere: At the supermarket, at the library and at the club. The only way I can tell you to avoid such dickheads out to ruin your moment by trying to get their Bi Jones’ on is to basically ignore them. And although they won’t take kind to the fact that their Ego’s are deflated, after a few moments they will slink back into the the douche holes they came from. If not, I’m sure the bouncer would be happy to put them in their place.
Any Tip From You Mr. BlackSexxx?
Several!
1) Go with a dude or a group of women.
The experience is best to be shared as number of my readers have already noted. Nothing is more exciting than to have a group of women (or men and women) excelling the beauty of the female form.
One of my most favorite memories was a couple of years ago where I was with a group of gents and there was a group of ladies at the table next to us. They looked like they were having fun but the fellas and I knew that they could be doing a lot more. So we sent the a couple of ladies to dance for them. Mind you it wasn’t so we could get our Bi-Sexual fantasies on it was just in good natured fun. Suddenly they sent a couple of dancers back to dance for us. Back and forth in went until the wee hours of the morning. I think that group of 10 girls got their college tuitions paid for that night.
Blame it on the a a a a a alcohol.
2) Don’t be THAT girl
Nothing dashes my Strip Club experience than to have some woman in my ear complaining about everything. About the club, about the dancer, about the drinks. If you didn’t want to be at the club … don’t go so you won’t have to complain!
I remember one time I took a young lady to a strip club because she was interested but when she got there she ripped on everything from the carpet to the music. It culminated into her saying: “OMG! She clapping her ass cheeks in front of me. Gross!”
Sufficed to say she killed my buzz and the fun of the night.
3) Don’t use a credit card or the Strip Club ATM
You know how the Atlanta Strip Club the Gold Club got caught. They got busted by overcharging their customers credit cards. Giving a Strip Club a credit card is like giving a crack addict the keys to your house: You trust them for all its worth but something will bound to be stolen. There’s a seedy underbelly of Strip Clubs that are on the hustle and if you are looking to give them your credit card to run a tab you are looking at some serious charges to be on your statement the next month.
Again I’m not saying that ALL Strip Clubs are like this but it is something to keep an eye out for.
In regards to the ATM all I have to say is that the transaction charges is an Mutha. If you complained when Bank Of America charged you $3.00 for taking money out of your own account … try fees as high as $15. That’s right … Fifteen Dollars.
4) Tip your Bartenders and/or Waitresses at the club.
Yes they may be on salary but a good tip proves that you are a good patron. Plus they may be your best resource for good times and for other goodies if you treat them well enough.
Okay that’s it for this expert of Strip Club 101. If you have more questions please submit them in the comments below.
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African American Graphics
Blogger Layouts and Templates
…My apologies to Jeremiah.
I thought that I would drop a couple of quickies while I was finishing up Part II of the Strip Club Post.
First Off: The news has been running wild about the fact that Marge Simpson is going to be on the cover of Playboy. Here’s a picture of that upcoming cover:
Would it surprise you to know that the cover is based on one from 1971?
The model was Darine Stern and she was the first African American woman to grace the cover of the magazine (Sadly Ms Stern died due to 1994 due to complications of breast cancer). I’m thinking this is the reason why Playboy and the Simpson Creators picked this pose as a tribute to the original model.
Second Off: Lexington Steele Introduces Five New Ethic Newcomers in Mercenary Pictures‘ “Black Moon Risin’ Vol. 11.” See the full Story here. I only post this link because I do like what Lex is trying to do by bringing “some” dignity to the porno game. I don’t see that he uses his model (actors) as sexual props to promote some sex stereotype. Good to see that his Mercenary Pictures is still maintaining the Goals he set while reading about him in Money Shot.
Third Off: Today is the day of my birth October 15. So I checked to see which porn actors of color I shared a birthday with and the only ones I could find were Kara Tai (born in 1984 and active from 2008-2009) and Mr. Amazing (Born in 1987 and active from 2008-2009). I’m hoping they are working and celebrating this birthday for all its worth.
More later when I have the chance.
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So thanks to my strip club post, a few of my female readers who never got to visit a strip club had questions about an outing to their local Strip Club.
Because of those questions, I present to you. Strip Club 101: A Primer For The Newbies and Those Not So Much (Patenting Pending).
Let me first start off by saying that each experience will be tapered by the laws in your local state. You want to see full nude women while sipping on your cognac: You can’t do it in NY, SC and SD but its not a problem in FL, NV or GA. Even in the states that allow certain things, your local Government may put the kibosh on it.
So the first thing I would ask is to call the strip club in your area to find out what type it is. (Or let Mr. BlackSexxx do the leg work for you.)
The types are usually indicated as Nude, Semi-Nude, Pastie and Bikini Bar. And depending on your clientele it may break down even further with the designation of Gentleman’s Club, Hybrids and Sex Emporiums. Click Here for a full description of those and others on the list.
A Nude Club is just what it denotes. The girls dancing on the pole and for the patrons will strip down to their birthday suits for those who pay money for them to do so. Note: Depending on the city you will either get that with or without alcohol as some places cannot go fully nude if they serve alcohol (See Philly and New York City as an example).
Semi-Nude (Topless): The girls at the bar basically will be going bare breasted with some sort bikini or thong-type bottom on. Usually these clubs run in cities that have the rule about going fully nude while serving alcohol.
Pastie: These bars are like a the Semi-Nude bar but the dancers wear Pasties to keep their nipples from view.
Bikini Bar: The women here dance in nothing but bikini’s for paying customers.
So with that out of the way, let us begin:
Where would you go for a good time?
This is a truly subjective question as everyone’s idea of a good club to go in your area depends on a) your location, b) how much money your plan on spending and c) the experience you’re trying to capture.
In my lifetime I have had better fun at a Mid-Major strip club. The larger strip clubs you are going to be nothing by a specific number that the owners are going to want you to spend and spend highly. You don’t want to go to a club that says unless you’re a Rapper, Professional Athlete or Mogul don’t bother stopping here.
Look to the internet for services that do ratings of the strip clubs in your area. Two websites The Ultimate Strip Club List and Strip Club List has a list of clubs and reviews of those clubs from across the company. Also I have found that looking at your local CitySearch will get you a number of clubs in your area (with ratings) that National Websites might have missed.
Word of warning for basing your Club visits based on online reviews. Sadly a number of the reviews will be quiet dated. I visited one site that didn’t have a review since 2005. I’m sure there might have been changes but you wouldn’t know that from what’s being posted on the internet.
The best way to find out good clubs to go would be to ask male co-workers, friends or family member. A good time at the club will always be memorable in the minds of some and you will always get a blow by blow from the Entry to the Club to what happened on the ride home. My experiences have been many and whenever someone asks me how are the strip clubs in Atlanta I can tells with excitement my Bad Experience at Pleasers and My Great Experience at Strokers.
What is the best time to go?
Again most clubs are different but I’ve known from experience that the best time to go is right before evening shift change (which varies so check with the club or someone who’s known to have visited there). The afternoon girls are on their way home for the night and All-Pros are put on for their run for the night. Usually the good earners get the “Prime Time” spot on these nights. Also of note: Thursday through Saturday are heavy traffic days while Sunday through Wednesday are less so.
Worst time to go?
If you live a city and a major event will happen: Super Bowl, All-Star Game, BET or Source Awards show will mean that their will be plenty of patrons looking to spend plenty of money. It means that first timers (and some regulars) will get lost in the shuffle.
What is the cost to get in?
Depending on the club it could cost as little as $5 to as much as $25 to get in. Again this depends on several factors: 1) Time of Day, 2) Day of the week or 2) If its a special event (Super Bowl, All-Star Weekend, Etc.)
What Special Attire Should I Wear?
Again it really depends on the type of club you plan on visiting and the mood you are trying to set. I would say to be safe in most cases Party Casual is best.
How much should you bring to the club?
Simply put … enough to have a good time. Please note that the strip club experience includes drinking, paying for dances on the pole and separate Table Dancers (More On That Later). You should have enough to get in, have a couple of drinks and pay for at least two Table dances and to tip the dancer and waitress.
What will be the atmosphere?
Busy. There will be a lot of milling around with Dancers looking for those willing to pay, girls dancing to songs on the pole and waitresses delivering drinks and food (if they serve it). Make sure you get a nice spot near walkways but not so much that people will be walking through your dancing experience.
How to ask for a lap dance?
The dancers are going to be walking around looking for customers. The think that I usually do is take a quick scan across the room find a dancer or three that are attractive to me and wait. Dancers know the lay of the land and will most likely walk up to you more than they do the men.
What if you don’t like the dancer?
Be upfront and let them know of your intentions. Let them down as easy as possible and tell them the truth.
That’s all for right now. I will be posting a part two to this sometime later in the week. However if you have any questions of your own please post them below or email me directly..
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Don’t have time for a full post but I thought I would comment on two stories that came my way.
Okay while blog trolling as I usually do I came across report on a blog that said that CNN that quoted a study from North Carolina State University. The study in question: That There Was A Link Between Fellatio And Breast Cancer.
In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio and swallowed the ejaculatory fluid, over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform. – Source
Thank God I bound and gagged my inner Beavis before I said something completely stupid and juvenile. However there was something about the story that seemed to be too good to be true. This sounded like something an internet prankster would make up for the sake of getting some play on a Major News Network. I mean who can forget the Jeff Goldblum hoax in June 2009.
So getting my Google Fu on I did some checking. Seems that this hoax was perpetrated by a student at North Carolina State as a joke in 2003.
Let that be a lesson to you kids … You can’t always believe what you read.
Moving on….
The University System of Maryland has decided to enforce rules regarding the acceptable use of Porn on campus. Pornography as a campus elective isn’t anything new. However the Maryland Government took the unique step to making sure that it does not reach the eyes and minds of the 100,000 undergraduate and 30,000 graduate students.
Maryland’s state university system will be the first in the nation to adopt rules governing the acceptable use of pornographic movies on campus, under orders from state legislators who objected to the screening of the adult film “Pirates II: Stagnetti’s Revenge” at the University of Maryland in the spring.
State-funded universities have until Dec. 1 to submit policies on “the displaying or screening of obscene films and materials,” according to language added to the state operating budget in April.
The General Assembly acted after portions of “Pirates II” were shown on the university campus. State Sen. Andrew P. Harris (R-Baltimore County) had threatened to deny state operating funds to the university if administrators allowed a full screening. Source
So at odds are the Students and Facility to think that the rules will infringe on free speech, while on the other side you have those who think anything sexual should be left underground. Of course, one of the members of the Party of No is behind this.
I’m for Free Speech in this case and for the slippery slope. You see this isn’t about porn but its the fulcrum that many use to start controlling what folk see and here. If someone can use Government funding to shape curriculum who is to say that someone else down the line won’t use the same tactics to keep folk from learning about Ayn Rand, Ann Rice or Anne Boleyn.
More later when I have more time.
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The other night I was watching Law & Order: SVU and an episode focused on this rapist who was drugging women in order to act out his rape fantasies on video tape. His defense for doing it was that he was addicted to porn and thus couldn’t in real life without acting out his favorite scenes. This brought up an interesting exchange between Olivia, Elliot, Fin and the new A.D.A. Kim Grayleck as the below scene (done after the Rapist Eric Lutz declares himself innocent by reason of mental deficiency [His porn Addiction]) indicates.
The conversation starts at 6:32:
Olivia: Just like that? The judge didn’t even want to read the motion?
A.D.A. Grayleck: Nope. Porn made me do it. Unbelievable.
Olivia: But Is it? I can’t count the number of perps that we’ve collared with porn stashes that would make Jenna Jameson Gag.
Fin: And that ain’t easy.
A.D.A. Grayleck: Wait, so you think that gives Lutz and excuse?
Olivia: No, but you can’t tell me that there’s no connection between porn and rape.
Fin: Whoa, Whoa, Hold Up I’ve enjoyed adult entertainment a time or two and I’ve never forced a woman.
Olivia (Giving him a look of death): So after what we see all day you go home to watch women being degraded to get off?
Fin: All women don’t feel the same way you do about porn. I mean my girl digs it, plus she’s got female producers running multi-million dollar porn production companies.
Stabler: Women running porn companies. That’s like the whore on the corner working her way up to pimp. Doesn’t make it right.
Fin: Lighten up Choir Boy, you don’t have to be a perv to like porn.
Olivia: Oh yeah. Then how come people don’t put V For Vagina next to Vertigo on their bookshelves?
Fin: Because they are afraid of being judged by prudes like you.
Olivia: *sigh*
A.D.A. Grayleck: Even hockey moms are getting Brazilian bikini waxes to look like centerfolds. Porn is mainstream now.
Olivia: But Kim this is my point: Porn makes normal women want to emulate hookers. And tells rapists that their sick fantasies are okay.
Fin: You know that’s not true for all rapists.
Olivia: It is for enough of them.
This is an interesting conversation and I can see both sides however I have to side with Fin on this one. I have watched plenty of porn and it hasn’t changed my perception of women at all. I know that all women aren’t like those in porn and that they have various levels of complexity to them.
Romantic comedies, Romance Novels, Talk shows, Relationship Experts and R&B songs have done more damage to my perception regarding relationships than porn has ever done.
And for the record, I have fantasies but The Rape fantasy does nothing for me but makes me want to throw up. I have been know to totally get turned off if a woman in a porn is looking like she’s in pain or looks like she’s not in her right faculties.
To this day I have not watched The Accused or Irréversible (the latter has a 9 minute rape scene of Monica Bellucci that when viewed at Cannes caused 200 people to walk out) because of such qualms.
40 Million people watch porn, why is it that people make you feel like scum because you’re part of that number?
Someone tell me if I’m just wrong or Do I really have a point here. Should watchers or porn feel just as dirty as those who use it for nefarious acts.
And please as with the nature of this site I’m looking for valid discussions. I do not mind opposition to my views but any disagreement at the expense of civility will be subject to deletion or mocking by the readers or myself if necessary.
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